In modern day families is can often seem like conflict is more present than ever before. What people fail to realize is conflict is natural. There will always be conflict and especially in a family setting where important decisions need to be made or decisions about how to raise a child. The conflict theory is important to take into consideration regarding this topic. The conflict theory asserts all societies are characterized by inequality, conflict and change as groups within the society struggle.
Today I want to focus on the effects change has on families. I would say that not all change is bad, sometimes change is good in order for someone to get out of their comfort zone and grow as an independent individual. However, some changes can have a more traumatic impact on a child. Changes as simple as an older sibling going off to college or parents getting remarried and now a child has new step siblings. By the end of this blog I hope to share my perspective as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, whose parents divorced, remarried and the change in family.
I grew up in the church but my family also was not the most active. We went when we could but my sisters and I all played competitive sports, causing us to have the reasonability to attend tournaments on weekend and traveled a lot. I would say that my parents may have had a strong testimony of the Gospel, however my siblings and knew the church to be true but had yet to find our personal testimonies of its truthfulness. My parents divorced when I was twelve and my older sisters went off to BYU-Provo. This was a lot of change all at once. Not only did my parents separate and I did not really understand what that meant, but my older sisters were no longer around and it became confusing. One second we were this big happy family and the next we were all spread out. This brought trials and a lot of conflicts in our daily lives. We all had to learn how to navigate through things which were uncomfortable. Now in the culture of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, divorce is frowned upon. With these experiences my father and I struggled with attending church due to what seemed to be judgment and tension from members of the ward. At the time my father struggled with questioning his decision. However, he was also confident that he was led my the spirit through praying for guidance in the temple. The personal conflict he went through is one of the few things I admire about him. He chose to listen to the spirit although it brought a lot of challenges to our family.
Fast forward a couple of years later and my father remarried to a lovely woman that was not a member of the church. I also got a lovely addition to the family of twin step sisters. None of them had a religious background but became the ones whom encouraged us to follow our beliefs. At this time, due to moving around a lot my father and I had gone inactive from the church. However, God is a God of miracles and we were sent a lovely family that knocked on our door and invited us to their ward once we moved to a new area. Our relationship thrived once we began to put the Gospel at the center of our lives again. Through this process my step mom started taking missionary lessons and was baptized about a year later. My parents have become a power couple. They live the Gospel and apply Christs love in all they do. This change was good. I say this because today I understand how a family is supposed to function. I also know what a healthy relationship focused on faith in Jesus Christ is supposed to be.
All these changes surely took a toll on my sisters and myself. We are all at different places in our lives. Some changes at the time seemed hard to understand. However, today I can see how it truly blessed all of our lives. I am a firm believer nothing happens in Gods world by mistake. It may seem difficult at the time but when we take a look in the past we can see exactly where God was.
