Lets take a recap over the last two years regarding the Covid-19 epidemic. How many of you were unable to spend the quality time with your family? Or if you are like me, had a change in perspective about the importance of family? The current world we live in transformed my view on my family situation, it influenced a new appreciation for family gatherings and relationships.
Currently a trending topic regarding families is the influence of the children's environment playing a major role in their behaviors and future. Some say that a child should be raised in an environment with a loving mother and strong male role model. When we take a look at areas with higher levels of poverty, which tend to have higher rate of drugs abuse, single mothers, crime rates, etc. It becomes clear about a child's future, they will most likely repeat the same patterns they grew up in. Or if we take a look at a traditional family that checks off all the boxes on the list, will have a healthier life.
I agree but also disagree. I grew up with the family that checked off all of the boxes. However, my parents still divorced, my sisters and myself struggle with mental health side effects of the environment we had to adapt to. My siblings and I all struggle with relationships due to the fear that history will repeat itself. We are consumed by the thought that we could be happily in love, married and yet still end up repeating the same cycle.
Over the last two and a half years I have been working in the substance abuse and behavioral health field in Southern California. I have had the opportunity to learn about different cultures, family influences and there always seems to be a common factor. These individuals comes from different backgrounds but all had similar things in common, they never felt supported, loved, were neglected and abandoned.
I may not be married or have kids but what I do have is a knowledge from the child's perspective about what is needed. A parent may have good intentions but does not necessarily mean they were effective or beneficial for the child. What I can say is this, it does not matter if you are raised by a couple with the same sex attraction, loving mother and father, or even poverty without a father. What matters is what you choose to do with the situation you have been given. The answer is love. Love your child, support their goals, let them be their authentic self, have hard conversations and spend quality time with them. If a child is being raised by a single mother then find strong male role models to be in their lives. If another child is has two dads, encourage them to find woman that get help them through other life experiences.
The key to life is to have an open mind. Find ways to grow in order to strengthen your family. Take the time to sit down and talk with your children or your significant other. Most importantly, be sure not to get consumed by the world, causing you to loose sight of the end goal. Family is the center of our lives and should be the most important factor when making big decisions.
What I do know is this, God put obstacles in my life, which allowed me to grow into the person I am today. I did not see it then, but I do see it now. I was blessed to experience the things I did because it prepared me to help someone else through those same things. Nothing happens in Gods world by mistake. Reach your hand out to your loved ones and support them in all they do. Incorporate love in all you do and slowly we can start to change the negative environmental impact on families.
